


You are the feeling of drugs, pulling the chain of my love

by WeAreTheLuckyOnes



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Feelings, Friends With Benefits to Boyfriends, Grief/Mourning, Louis is a Publisher’s Assistant, M/M, Nick is a Small Radio Show Host, Rimming, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:09:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21533503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreTheLuckyOnes/pseuds/WeAreTheLuckyOnes
Summary: Louis gets bored with all the questions by the next week and tells everyone, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off, in a Facebook post he subsequently deletes the next day. Instead, he chooses to ignore all his friends.And text Nick.
Relationships: Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 23
Kudos: 139
Collections: The Tomlinshaw Fic Exchange 2019





	You are the feeling of drugs, pulling the chain of my love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icarusinflight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusinflight/gifts).



> From icarusinflight’s prompt: _Nick and Louis have a one night stand before going their own ways. Somehow they end up running into each other again, maybe they start seeing each other, maybe they decide to hook up again, maybe they do a friends with benefits. Somehow though I would love to see them end up together, feelings develop along the way, you know how it is :) :) :)_
> 
> Huge huge thanks to kyaneos for beta’ing, we had a couple bumps (I’m old and I’ve never used Docs), but thanks for being amazing!
> 
> Title is from Mattis’s The Chain which is just about the best song I’ve ever heard, please look it up!

Louis sees Nick for the first time in a SoHo nightclub. It’s dark and it’s hot and Louis’s more caught up in the crowd than he is drunk.

He lost Niall and Stan a while ago, and he’s standing at the bar scouring the crowd for them when he sees Nick.

He’s tall, something Louis definitely looks for in a guy, and he’s wearing the tightest jeans Louis’s ever seen in his life, tighter than the ones Harry wore when he was going through his half-naked stage, and they leave absolutely _nothing_ to the imagination.

He thinks about approaching him, buying him a drink and chatting him up, but before he can make a decision, Niall’s coming up behind him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, whispering in his ear.

“Stan’s gone off with some girl, find anyone interesting?”

Louis shrugs his shoulders, and in reply, Niall raises an eyebrow.

Niall knows Louis well, they’ve been friends for almost a decade now, so when he scans the crowd, his eyes fall on Nick.

He leans over again and says, “Want me to talk you up?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “I’m a big boy, now, think I can talk to hot guys on me own, thanks.”

Niall lets out a belly laugh and smacks Louis shoulder a little too hard. “Alright, then, off ye go.”

He pushes Louis off into the man’s direction, a little to hard, and Louis stumbles, reaching out to steady himself. A hand catches him and when he looks up, it’s the man he’d been staring at. Fucking Niall.

He sends a glare back in Niall’s direction for good measure, but he’s already gone.

“Y’right?” The man calls in Louis’s ear, hot breath on the skin of his neck. It sends goosebumps up his spine.

Louis nods. “Me friend’s a little rough is all. Decided I should come talk to ya.”

The man grins, sharp and delighted. “Did he?”

Louis shrugs. “Want a drink?”

The man nods, then as an afterthought, leans back towards Louis and says, “M’name’s Nick.”

“Louis,” Louis replies while he’s still close.

Louis gets the attention of a bartender and lets Nick order himself a rum and coke, then orders himself a vodka and soda, before handing over the cash.

They can’t talk much, the music blaring and the crowd screaming, but he does learn that Nick came with his coupled friends who have since abandoned him in search of greener pastures (Nick jokes it’s to go knock boots in the ladies toilets), and Louis tells Nick about Niall and Stan.

Once their drinks are finished, Nick invites Louis to dance. Louis’s not really a dancer, he’s all feet, but he takes Nick’s hand anyway and lets himself be pulled onto the dance floor.

Nick’s not much of a dancer either, he’s all long limbs and absolutely pants at anything harder than a grind (pun intended), so it’s not long before they call it quits and wander up to the rooftop bar for a smoke.

It’s quieter up there, and they get a chance to talk properly. Nick tells Louis he works in HR at a radio station, and it sounds dead boring. Louis tells him so.

Nick laughs. “Yeah, suppose it is. Wanted to be a television host, but got a face for radio, me. Never got to the actual hosting, though.”

“I think you’d be good. You’ve got a nice voice. Sorta deep.”

Louis thinks Nick blushes, but he can’t tell in the dark.

“What about you? What do you do?”

“This and that. Not really anything in particular. Washed out of uni. Got a job at a publishers at the moment, working the desk. Mostly I read shitty novels all day and decide which are less shitty to pass on to me boss.”

“Sounds interesting, what kind of books?” Nick asks. Louis wonders if he’s taking the piss. It’s not exactly the most interesting job, but he seems genuinely sincere.

“They mostly do teen sci-fi and supernatural. I swear the one I’m reading at the moment pushes the copyrights for Twilight.”

Nick lets out a surprised shriek of laughter, and it draws the attention of a couple other occupants of the tables around them. “God, I bet it’s awful!”

Louis grins. “It is! It’s so bad.”

Nick is still laughing, and Louis finds himself rather endeared. It’s a strange feeling for a possible one night stand.

“You’ve _got_ to let me read it.”

“It’s at mine,” Louis says, before his brain has a chance to kick in.

Nick calms down very suddenly and looks at Louis, contemplative. “Alright then, might as well go have a look at this Twilight fan fiction.”

Louis heart beats harder in his chest and he butts out the last of his cigarette, standing up and holding his hand out to Nick.

Nick takes it.

Nick sticks to Louis’s back as they make their way down three stories to the ground floor, and out of the night club. It’s still loud outside , but it’s mostly drunk lunatics yelling, rather than the heavy beat of the music.

Nick kisses him first while they’re waiting in line for a taxi. He leans down and gets a hand around the back of Louis’s neck, pulling him up to meet him half-way.

His mouth is hot and wet, and he tastes like coke, and Louis lets his body melt into it. He’s really quite getting into it when one of the girls in front of him stumbles back into them, apologising profusely as only a drunk girl can.

Louis lets out a short bark of laughter, feeling his cheeks heat.

In the taxi Louis’s very careful to keep his hands to himself, sitting on the other side of the back seat from Nick. Louis points the driver towards his flat, leaning forward between the front seats. He shivers, and his body goes hot when he feels Nick’s fingers stroke his back.

His hands fumble when he gets to his front door, trying desperately to fit the key into the lock as fast as he can, but making an absolute numpty of himself when it just takes longer. He does finally get it, and he’s barely stepped inside when Nick drapes himself against his back, pressing a wet kiss to the side of his throat.

“Ah fuck.”

Louis’s knees buckle, but Nick holds him up, an arm around his waist, the other sneaking closer to his cock, thickening in his pants.

“Okay?” Nick asks, and Louis appreciates the check in, he really does, but it also just serves to set him off even more.

“Bedroom.”

It’s a bit hard making it to his room with Nick on his back like a koala, but they manage it, and when they’re there, he pushes himself out of Nick’s arms to turn and face him.

Nick’s about as hard as Louis is, and it’s obvious, the bulge in his jeans, the red in his cheeks. Louis feels a bit breathless, and his mind’s gone black, he doesn’t know what to touch first.

Nick decides for him, reaching for the hem of his own t-shirt and pulling it over his head. He’s got thick, coarse looking hair over his chest - and Louis didn’t even realise that was a thing for him until now - and he’s got a tattoo under his ribcage Louis can’t quite make out in the dark. Louis’s feet take him towards Nick before his brain’s caught up with them, and he pulls him down for another kiss.

It’s weirdly intense, like no other encounter with a man or a woman has been for Louis before, and it makes his head hurt. He kisses Nick harder, pushing the thought away, and Nick’s gripping him so tightly, pulling him up to reach, that Louis’s up on the tips of his toes.

Louis’s really getting into it, melting against Nick, when he hears Bruce and Clifford whimpering at the back door, begging to be let in after hearing him come home.

“For _fuck’s_ sake,” he cries, throwing his hands up into the air as he pulls out of Nick’s arms. He’s out of breath, and Nick’s looks a little shocked and confused at the sudden change in pace. “Would you just give me a mo? I’ll put them in the kitchen.”

He stomps his way out of the bedroom, like a petulant child, and lets his furry little buggers into the kitchen, shoving their beds in and shutting the door on them. He feels momentarily bad, but then he remembers they’ve got food and water, and he’s got a fit man waiting for him in his bedroom and he can’t seem to care anymore.

When he gets back Nick’s jeans are on the floor and he’s lying on Louis bed in just his pants.

“Jesus Christ.”

Louis’s in such a rush to get his own clothes off he falls while he’s pulling his jeans off, crashing to the floor with a heavy thud.

“Shit, are you okay?”

Louis stares up at the ceiling for a moment before he laughs, reaching down his legs to pull his pants all the way off and climbing to his feet. “Feeling like a bit of a twat, but other than that,” he says, sinking onto the bed next to Nick, sitting on his legs and staring down at the man before him. “It didn’t hurt.”

“You sure?” Nick asks, voice low, climbing up onto his own knees. “I could kiss it better.”

“I’d like to amend my statement,” Louis replies, before Nick’s mouth is covering his own and he’s being turned around until his back hits the mattress. Nick’s body blankets him, and suddenly he’s kissing Louis with all of himself, touching every bit of Louis he can reach, and Louis feels like he’s on fire.

“What do you want, pet? My hand on you? My mouth?”

Louis’s brain just about ceases to exist, and it takes everything Louis has to whisper, “Fuck, everything.”

Nick gives a sharp, toothy grin that reminds Louis of a shark, and slides his hand down Louis’s skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He slides it into Louis’s pants, waits a moment for Louis’s desperate nod, before he’s wrapping it around Louis’s dick.

Louis’s not young anymore, he’s almost thirty, but the barest touch from Nick and he thinks he might fucking come straight away, Jesus Christ.

Nick goes slow at first, testing the waters, sliding his hand up and down Louis’s cock, swiping his thumb over the head, catching the slick there. Louis hates it. He wants Nick to go faster, wants it harder. He digs his fingers into Nick’s shoulder and jerks his hips up through the circle of Nick’s hand. That sets Nick off. He takes his strokes faster, squeezing harder, pulling mewling, whimpering sounds out of Louis’s mouth as he tries to meet Nick’s strokes with his thrusts. He can barely kiss Nick anymore, he’s mostly stuttering into his mouth, sucking on his lip and grazing his teeth along the skin.

Despite his resistance, it doesn’t take him long to come, spurting into his underwear, all over Nick’s hand until they’re all hot and sticky.

“Jesus,” Louis says, panting into the ceiling. “Give me a mo and I’ll do you.”

Nick lets out a snort of laughter from next to Louis and says, “Had a bit too much to drink then, mate?”

“Nah just getting old. You know the feeling.”

Nick can’t seem to help the strangled laughter that claws its way out of his throat. “Ouch. Regretting giving you a handie now.”

“Aw, poor baby, I promise I’ll make you feel better,” Louis says, climbing up into Nick’s lap and licking his way into his mouth.

-*-*-

Louis doesn’t really give Nick another thought after that, until two weeks later, after he’s let himself into Harry’s flat on a hot Saturday afternoon, he finds Nick half naked and wet on Harry’s couch, Harry just in his pants next to him.

See, Harry naked (or mostly) in the afternoon isn’t all that unusual, but Harry with Louis’s one night stand, both naked, and Nick wet… that’s weird.

“Uh… Haz, need my laptop. Thought you were at work.”

“Lou!” Harry cries, stretching over the back of the couch, staring at Louis upside-down. “Finished an hour ago.” His eyes are unfocused and he’s slow. Louis has no fucking idea how he got home, undressed and _this_ high in an hour. That’s a talent Louis could only think to ascribe to Zayn. “Can’t remember where I put it. Have you met Nick?”

Louis finally lets himself look over at Nick. He’s a lot lovelier in the daylight, all long limbs and tanned skin, the kind that only comes from weeks in a tropical country. He’s got more tattoos than Louis noticed the other night – on his sides, arms, shoulders, legs – and it takes Louis a second to make his eyes meet Nick’s, rather than roam his body. “Once.”

Something flashes behind Nick’s eyes, and then his mouth turns up into a wolfish grin. “Right.”

For fuck’s sake, he’d completely forgotten.

Louis rolls his eyes, suddenly done with the conversation. “I’m going to find my laptop.”

He checks the kitchen and dining room first, and when he’s letting himself into Harry’s bedroom, he’s blindsided by Nick crowding him inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Are you Harry’s boyfriend or something?”

Louis scoffs. “Are you?”

“No,” Nick says. “You’ve got keys to his flat.”

Louis rolls his eyes, going to Harry’s bed and throwing his rumpled sheets to the floor, intending to complete the task at hand. “Because he loses them every other week.” It’s not under his sheets or his pillows, and when he checks the bedside table closest to him, it’s not in there either. Fucking Harry. “Since you’re in here, make yourself useful.”

Louis’s blindsided again when Nick says _okay_ and pulls Louis in for a kiss. Louis’s whole body feels like honey, and he lets himself sink into it, tastes weed and sugar, laps it up, until that unfortunate bastard common sense decides to rear its ugly head.

“Jesus Christ, I wanted you to help me find my _laptop_ ,” Louis cries, pushing Nick away. “One of the fuck-terns lost a paper manuscript and the only electronic copy we have is _on my laptop_. How do you lose a _whole manuscript_?”

“If it’s the Mac, it’s in the bathroom,” Nick says, leaning against the wall and jerking his thumb towards the ensuite.

“Why is it in the bloody bathroom?” Louis mutters as he stomps inside, taking his laptop from on top of the toilet lid. When he gets back into the bedroom a sort of realisation dawns on him. “Are you sleeping with Harry?”

“No, he’s a decade younger than me.” Nick says, almost disgusted. “Plus he’s all… I dunno, he’s just too _much_. Seems like he’s super high maintenance in bed.”

Louis makes a grunting sound, neither admitting nor denying Nick’s claim. He knows, but not because he’s slept with Harry. For some reason he really doesn’t want Nick to think he’s slept with Harry. “Why did you know where the laptop was then?”

“Because we had it while we were smoking in there. Obviously.”

“ _Obviously_.” Louis mimics, taking the laptop out into the hallway before he stops and peers in at Nick. “How do you even know Harry?”

“I’ve known him since he was like 19. when he came out here, we used to be neighbours.”

“How come I’ve never met you before?”

Nick frowns for a moment, and when his face evens out again, he shrugs. “Dunno.”

Louis rolls his eyes again and heads back down the stairs, into the lounge were Harry’s now laying on the couch with his knees up and his head hanging off the side, scrolling through his phone. “You’ll drop that on your face.” Harry doesn’t reply. “How come I haven’t met Nick in the six years you’ve known him?”

“Hm…” Harry says, frowning. “Dunno. I mean I invited you out a couple times when he was there. That dinner party last year I invited you to? That was at his house. Maybe fate wanted you to meet today.”

Louis doesn’t bother telling Harry they met last weekend.

-*-*-

“Do you know Nick?” Louis asks Niall when they’re out for beers after work on Monday night.

“Nick? Nick who?” Niall’s already drunk. Irishman Louis’s left tit, Niall can’t drink for shit.

“Tall, lanky, tattoos. Harry’s friend.”

Niall makes this overreacted face of recognition, nodding his head vigorously. When he stops he looks a little sick, he’s gone green around the edges, but he doesn’t vomit. “Grimmy. Good lad, good lad. Why?”

“It’s just, I met him for the first time on Saturday, and he said he and Harry have been friends for six years.” Louis decides to omit his and Nick’s sexual encounter.

Niall’s brows thread together as he frowns, staring into his glass of lager. “Hm… well I mean, you and Harry have only been friends for like three years.”

“Four.”

“Four, right. I dunno, I mean, you’re always working, and you don’t really like going out to parties and things. It probably wasn’t on purpose.”

Louis nods, biting the inside of his bottom lip as he stares into his own drink, before he brings it up to his mouth. “Are he and Harry fucking?”

“I mean, not that I know of? Nick kind of treats him like a little brother.” Niall frowns again. “Why?”

“Curiosity.”

Niall send him a look, one that does very little while he’s this pissed. “He’s not got a boyfriend either if you’re curious. He broke up with Mesh like three months ago.”

“I know _Mesh_. He was Mesh’s boyfriend? The one who said no when Mesh proposed?” Louis raises an eyebrow, the scoffs and shakes his head, taking another drink. “Mesh was so broken up about it.”

“Yeah, you fixed that right up, didn’t you?”

Louis scowls at Niall. “It wasn’t like that. You _know_ I didn’t do it to fuck with Mesh. He was upset, and he _asked_.”

“Look, if you’re thinking about, I dunno, getting with Nick, just know that situation wasn’t really Nick’s fault. They were together for six months and Mesh jumped the gun. Nick told me he was never really in love with him.”

“Still sounds like it’s kinda his fault,” Louis replies, downing the last of his drink and waving over the bartender. “Mesh is a good guy, and he’s not stupid. Nick made him think they were solid enough to propose. If that’s not the definition of an arsehole, I don’t know what is.”

-*-*-

_hey it’s nick, stole your # from harry’s phone_

Louis spends twenty minutes staring at his phone before he decides to reply.

_ur the one who broke up w/ mesh after he proposed_

_and you’re the one who slept with him after it_ Comes Nick’s reply. Well.

_Guess all the cards are on the table then_

Nick writes back with a shrug emoji, then, _you free?_

Louis lets out a startled laugh, looks around his lounge room, at the late afternoon sunlight spilling in through his window, and thinks fuck it.

_u remember my address?_

_yeah. gimme 20_

Louis doesn’t really know what to do with his twenty minutes, so he nervously tidies, let’s the dogs out into the backyard, and smokes two cigarettes on the back porch.

The doorbell rings at five exactly, and when Louis opens it, he doesn’t bother to say anything, taking Nick by his collar and pulling him inside, climbing up him like a tree so he can kiss him.

“Right... to it... then,” Nick says between hot kisses, getting his hands under Louis’s thighs so he can hold him up.

Louis pulls away and holds him at arm’s length, giving him an unimpressed look. “If you didn’t want me to jump your bones you should’ve said something.”

After trying to get back to the kissing a few times, to no prevail, Nick rolls his eyes. “I’m not complaining. Kiss me you twat.”

So Louis does, threading his fingers through the short hairs at the back of Nick’s head, pulling him up into a rather bad kiss while Nick stumbles his way through to Louis’s bedroom. They run into a lamp and a table on the way there, but it only serves to amuse the both of them.

When they reach Louis’s bedroom, Nick drops him on the bed, groaning, “Jesus you’re heavy.”

Louis rolls his eyes, scooting his way up the bed. “It’s the arse.”

Nick snorts, climbing his way onto the bed and on top of Louis. “It is such a lovely arse. Can I rim you?”

Louis’s body goes hot, and a shiver runs down his spine. “Fuck, yes.”

Nick snogs him again, getting his tongue into Louis mouth before he pulls away and sits up on his haunches. He toes off his shoes and kicks them to the floor, then gets his shirt over his head.

“Sit up?”

Louis complies, and once he’s sitting, Nick kisses him again and pulls Louis’s singlet away, throwing it towards the growing pile of clothes on Louis’s bedroom floor. He lets himself be pushed back and over onto his belly, clinging to the bed sheets as Nick tugs his sweats down his legs.

“Okay?” Nick asks when Louis’s just in his pants, waiting before he pulls them off too. Louis nods, and then lifts his hips to help Nick when he starts tugging them down.

Nick’s hands are warm on Louis’s skin, stroking over his back and hips, tracing the line of his spine. He presses a kiss on him every now and then, to his hip, his ribcage, the knobs of his spine. Louis hates it and loves it in equal measure.

“ _Do something_!” Louis finally cries when he’s had enough, reaching back to whack at Nick’s head. Nick catches Louis’s wrist in his hand, holding it into the bed, and _okay_ , another thing Louis didn’t know was a thing for him.

No, actually, he hated when his other boyfriends held him down. It’s just fucking Nick. Jesus.

Nick presses a very gentle, wet kiss to the base of Louis’s spine, and Louis can feel the way he’s grinning. Shithead.

He gets Louis’s arse in his hands and spreads him apart, leaning down to lick a thick stripe of wet warmth over his hole. Louis groans and curls his toes, curving his back and pushing his arse closer to Nick’s face. Louis’s body feels a bit like jelly, wobbly and unformed, and he can’t do much more than dig his body into the mattress as Nick works him over.

Nick uses his fingers, too, slick with his spit, and it doesn’t take Louis very long to come, so close to the edge from the very beginning.

When Louis’s body has stopped shaking, he and Nick swap positions, with Nick on his back on the mattress and Louis kneeling over the top of him.

Louis sucks him off, and when it’s over and Nick’s gone, Louis’s not quite sure he wants to think about why it makes him sort of sad, but also angry.

-*-*-

Louis agrees to go to Harry’s next dinner party, but only when he learns that Nick will be there. He decides to pretend that’s not the reason at all, but he doesn’t do a very good job of it.

There’s a lot of people he knows, but even more he doesn’t, and it makes him anxious.

Why does Harry call them dinner parties if they’re, like, actual parties?

He hasn’t seen Nick yet, he’s not sure if he’s here, so he wanders sort of aimlessly, flitting from group to group, beer in hand.

“Lou,” Niall says, pulling Louis from a conversation he’s at least half an hour into about an album from a band Louis doesn’t know, nor cares to. He’s grateful for the interruption, especially when Niall wants to talk about Nick. Jesus Christ this is ridiculous. “Remember that conversation we had about Nick?”

“While you were pissed? I’m surprised you do,” Louis replies, shooting Niall a toothy grin.

“I’m pissed now, too, what’s your point?” Niall says, then shakes his head. “Anyway, I was saying something… what was it?” Louis rolls his eyes. “Right! Nick. He asked about you.”

“Did he?” Louis tries not to sound as eager as he is. He’s pretty sure he fails.

Niall grins at him, slapping his shoulder. Fucking Niall. “Aye. He asked – well, I can’t really remember what he said _exactly_ , I was pissed-” Louis threw his arms in the air, exasperated. Why the fuck does Niall have to be a forgetful drunk? “-but it doesn’t matter. He sort of implied that something had already happened. Like… multiple times.” Now Louis’s pissed at Niall _and_ Nick.

Louis rolls his eyes, catching sight of Nick as he does it. “Bye, Niall.”

“Bye? Why bye!”

Louis ignores him, sliding past the throngs of people, towards Nick.

He’s barely a meter away from Nick when he sees he’s not alone, and he’s not particularly happy. Mesh is scowling at him, and he’s talking through his teeth.

Louis swears colourfully under his breath and turns on his heels, desperate to get away before he’s seen. He realises he’s too late when Mesh calls out his name.

Great. They’re about to have a domestic in the middle of a crowded party.

“Seriously, Meshach, don’t involve him in this,” Nick says in a harsh stage whisper. “You’re drunk, and you’re acting like a prick.”

Louis realises a couple of the neighbouring groups have tuned into the conversation, and Louis winces, desperate to get away.

“I’m acting a prick? Me?” Mesh yells, waving a fist in front of Nick’s face. “I’m not drunk!”

Louis grabs Mesh’s wrist, if only to stop him from punching someone, and says, very quietly, with as much calm as he can possibly muster when he’s feeling this annoyed and embarrassed, “C’mon, mate. Lets go outside. No one needs to know our business.”

Mesh squints at Louis, then nods, allowing Louis to pull him out the front door, Nick on their heels.

“I’m so fucking pissed ff at you right now, Lou, what the fuck?” Mesh says when they’re standing in the front garden, pulling his wrist out of Louis’s hand. “Is this a game to you?”

“Mesh…” Louis suddenly feels like the worst human being on the planet. He knits his brows together and frowns, shaking his head. “You know me. I didn’t know Nick was… well, _your_ Nick until after.”

“And hey, Mesh,” Nick says, catching Mesh’s attention. “Niall was the one who told me what happened after Louis and I met.”

 _Fucking Niall_.

Mesh looks really downtrodden then, sort of like a drowned, sad puppy. “I was going to ask you out, like dinner or summat.” He looks so fucking forlorn it makes Louis’s heart hurt.

“Shit, Mesh,” Louis says. He feels bad, but sort of… vindicated. This shit isn’t his fault. This is Mesh and his ridiculous inability to know when something is over. “Look, we had sex once. And me and Nick? We’re not dating. We’ve seen each other a couple times. That’s it.”

Mesh looks like he’s suddenly sobered up, though whether from the alcohol or lack of common sense, Louis doesn’t know. He wipes his hands over his face and says, “I think I should go home.”

“Yeah,” Louis agrees. “Me too.”

“Lou-” Nick tries, reaching out to grab Louis’s shoulder.

“Not now, Nick.”

Louis lets himself back into Harry’s place to find his things, passing Nick again on his way out to his car. He looks worse than Mesh now, all sad-puppy, and as Louis gets into his car, he makes a decision then and there. No more Mesh, and definitely no more Nick. It’s just too much fucking drama.

-*-*-

“Nick’s acting a bit like a lost puppy,” Harry says, side-eyeing Louis as he cooks them dinner. “It’s all very sad.”

“Shut up, Harry,” Louis says, distracted, typing out an email to his boss, replying to one of the innumerable almost impossible tasks he’s been set out. Louis’s about two seconds from telling Alan to fuck off and quitting. Harry’s only making it worse.

“I just don’t understand what happened. Liam and Leigh-Anne said you broke them up, but then Jesy said you were sleeping with both of them _after_ they broke up. Then Ian said-“

“Jesus, I need better friends,” Louis interrupts. “Seriously Harry, just shut up. My sex life is not anyone else’s business, including yours.” He’s trying his best to stay calm. He knows Harry means well, that he’s never deliberately cruel.

“Nick wont talk either. Or Mesh.”

“Harry!” Louis snaps, glaring at Harry.

“Sorry,” Harry says, though he doesn’t sound it, turning back to the saucepan on the stove. He does stay silent though, and Louis manages the last of his email (the nicest ‘what the fuck’ email he thinks he’s ever written).

He locks his phone and puts it down on the counter, then says, “We had sex a few times, it got complicated, so it’s stopping.” Then he tacks on, just in case, “Me and Nick, I mean.”

“But you did also sleep with Mesh?”

“Once. Weeks ago, after he and Nick broke up. It was just rebound sex,” Louis replies, just as Nick texts him for the billionth time since Harry’s party ( _hey, text when you can_ ). Louis ignores it, and the irony of its timing. “Mesh is still in love with Nick, but now he thinks he wants to date me and it’s just too damn much.”

“How does that equal ignoring Nick? He didn’t do anything.” Harry crosses his arms over his chest. He looks almost disappointed, like this mess is Louis’s fault.

“Because I’m not dating Nick, and I don’t owe him anything. And I’m certainly not getting involved in that shitshow because Nick isn’t awful with his dick,” Louis snaps, suddenly bored with the conversation, regretting initiating it, and intent on ending it. “Is the food ready, then?”

-*-*-

Louis gets bored with all the questions by the next week and tells everyone, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off, in a Facebook post he subsequently deletes the next day. Instead, he chooses to ignore all his friends.

And text Nick.

_hey._

Nick’s reply is almost instantaneous, like he’d been waiting by the phone for Louis. It’s the same, a simple _hey_ , and Louis just stares at it for more than ten minutes, trying to figure out what to say. Trying to figure if he wants to say anything at all. Before he can reply Nick starts to type.

 _mesh is in love with you._ And then, _and me too. it’s not my fault he’s a mess. stop being a prick._

_its too fucking much. i don’t want to deal with it, im sorry._

Nick sends back three emojis: the rolled eyed emoji, the shrug, and the raised eyebrow.

_y did u break up w/ Mesh anyway? hes a good guy. i reckon he wouldve made a great husband._

Nick sends back the same set of emojis and Louis really wants to hit him now.

_ur so fucking annoying y the fuck did I ever have sex with u?????_

Nick replies with the eggplant, peach and fire emojis, and the urge to hit him gets even stronger.

Louis texts him the middle finger emoji and locks his phone, throwing it onto the other side of the bed. It bounces off and falls onto the ground with a soft _thunk_ , and Louis swears.

He gets another text while he’s trying to retrieve his phone, and when he finally looks at it, his belly drops.

He’s sent Louis a selfie, except his face isn’t actually in it, just his naked torso, and his cock, hard in his hand.

Fuckssakes.

Louis’s caught somewhere between anger and lust and it makes him all uncomfortable, like lightning shooting through his veins, like an itch under his skin.

 _fuck off_ He texts Nick, then deletes it before he can press send. Finally he decides on, _im coming over, arsehole._

He doesn’t bother changing, just picks up his phone, finds his keys and heads out the door. He doesn’t even put shoes on.

Nick seems to be waiting at his door, cause when Louis knocks, he pulls it open straight away and tugs Louis inside, shoving him up against a wall to kiss him stupid. Louis lets himself fall into it, hooking his arms around Nick’s neck, licking into his mouth. He sort of feels like he’s drowning in Nick, drowning in the taste of him, and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to come back up. If he even wants to.

He gets his brains back eventually, and he pulls himself away, panting into Nick’s shoulder. “This is the last time, okay? I can’t keep up with the drama.”

Nick raises his eyebrow at Louis, like he doesn’t believe it at all, and Louis’s not sure he does either.

They don’t really make it to Nick’s bedroom. They end up falling onto the couch in the lounge room, stripping naked and grinding their bodies together. Louis definitely thinks he could get off like this, rubbing his dick into Nick’s, but Nick has other ideas. He fishes a bottle of lube out of the couch cushions and shakes it at Louis, a question in his eyes.

“Why do you keep lube in your couch?”

Nick grins. “For exactly this reason. Can I fuck you? Or do you want to fuck me? Not all that fussed.”

A shiver goes up Louis’s spine. “Would you ride me?”

Nick’s lips turn up into a cheeky half-smile, sitting up on his knees over Louis. Louis’s head fills with images of Nick bouncing on his cock, sweat dripping down his chest, cheeks red, and yeah, he likes this idea. “Do you want to finger me, or do you want me to?”

Louis links his hands behind his head and gets comfortable. “I think I could just lay here and watch to be honest.”

Nick gives him the finger, and Louis catches his wrist, pulling his hand closer and sucking his middle finger into his mouth. Nick lets out a choked groan and grinds his hips down. “ _Fuck_.”

Louis nips at the tip of Nick’s finger and lets him go, then says, “There you go, already got one slick finger.”

“Fucking hell, Lou,” Nick says, diving down to snog Louis. He chews on Louis’s lip, and then straightens back up and gets to work.

While he fingers himself open, Nick complains he has to do it all himself, but Louis notices he’s picked an angle that shows Louis the way his fingers just slide right inside himself, his hole pink and tight around them. Louis doesn’t think he’d even be any use if he did do something, he feels a bit hypnotised by the movement, breathing heavy with anticipation. He does manage some encouragement, telling Nick how good he is, how lovely he looks with his fingers inside of him, how pretty he looks when he blushes.

When he’s done, pulling his fingers from his hole and leaning down to wipe his fingers on Louis’s t-shirt (“I’m not wiping lube on my new fucking couch, Lou, I’ll give you one of mine to go home in.”), he goes searching through the couch cushions again, coming back with a condom.

“Are you serious?” Louis says, disbelieving, shaking his head. “What else do you have in here?”

“Does it fucking matter?” Nick asks, suddenly impatient.

“Well yeah, it does if you have a chocolate bar in there.” Louis jokes.

He’s not expecting it when Nick gets his hand around his cock, jerking it in his hands a couple times before he lets go.

He has a bit of trouble tearing open the condom wrapper, swearing to himself as he tries, and Louis can’t stop himself from laughing. It only frustrates Nick more.

“You do it then, you dick!”

Louis takes it, using his teeth to cut the condom wrapper open. This seems to make Nick even more frustrated. And turned on.

“Fuckin’... give it,” he snaps, snatching the condom from Louis’s hand, getting it on to Louis’s cock quicker than he thinks anyone ever has. Nick doesn’t even bother pretending to be patient, sliding down onto Louis’s dick as soon as the condom’s secure, muscles in his belly bunching, pushing through the stretch and the pain. “Ah, Jesus.”

Louis wraps his hands around Nick’s hips, stroking his thumbs over his skin, whispering encouragement. “That’s it Nick, doing so well. Look so good with my dick in you.”

Nick feeds off the compliments (not that Louis’s surprised, like, at all), sliding down until all of Louis is inside him, and he’s panting, chin dug into his chest.

“You okay?” Louis asks gently, still stroking Nick’s skin (it’s so fucking soft, how is Nick’s skin so fucking soft?).

Nick lifts his head and gives Louis a cheeky grin, grinding his hips down so hard it makes Louis see stars. “I’m not dead yet.”

Louis can’t do anything other than hold on as Nick rides him, fucking down onto him hard and fast, grinding his hips. Jesus Christ, Louis might go mad.

Nick tries to keep up the pace, he really does, Louis can see the strain in his muscles, but he can’t keep it up for long, gradually slowing down until all he can do is sort of bounce on top of Louis. And it’s nice, really, but Louis was sort of enjoying the fast pace.

Louis pushes himself up on his arms, kissing Nick’s jaw. “C’mere,” he says, getting one of his arms around Nick’s waist, pulling him down on top of him. He kisses Nick again, this time over the corner of his mouth, using his hands to part Nick’s legs so Louis can get his knees up. He dislodges Nick’s knee from the edge of the couch, and his foot falls to the carpet where he plants it. “Okay?”

Nick nods, hiding his face in Louis neck, licking at his skin.

Louis uses his new leverage to fuck his cock up into Nick as fast as he wants, as fast as Nick was going when they started. Nick’s moaning into Louis’s skin, hot breath sending shivers down Louis’s spine, and Louis doesn’t think he’s going to last much longer. He lasts just long enough to get Nick off, then comes himself as Nick’s hole spasms around him.

Louis doesn’t stay long afterwards - getting his clothes back on, taking one of Nick’s t-shirts - though he and Nick both want him to.

-*-*-

Louis doesn’t want to admit that in the four weeks following his last encounter with Nick he hoards Nick’s t-shirt like a crazy person, wearing it at home until it starts to smell grotty and not at all like Nick and he finally has to wash it. It smells like Louis now, and he gets a weird sort of satisfaction out of sending it back to Nick like that.

Harry doesn’t ask when Louis hands it over, but Louis knows his curiosity is killing him.

Louis knows when Nick gets the t-shirt back, cause Nick texts him.

 _took you long enough._ Then, _it smells like you_.

Louis’s at work, and he really doesn’t have the time to sext with Nick (cause he’s pretty sure that’s where it’s heading right now), so he writes: I’m busy, put your dick back in your pants. (im busy put ur dick back in ur pants) Nick replies with a sad face emoji and a couple crying face emojis.

Louis shoves his phone away and goes back to the manuscripts he’s skimming. There’s four, and the next is worse than the last. His phone buzzes quite a few ties, but he ignores it. He decides the weird succubus/shapeshifter/human love triangle one is the only one he doesn’t instantly hate, chucking it on top of the other two slightly acceptable manuscripts in the middle drawer. He starts on the next pile, sighing heavily.

Louis gets more texts from Nick, and he finally gives in and looks. Most are photos of Nick’s dick (not that he’s actually surprised, but he still tries to push down his own body’s interest), others are texts telling Louis how annoying he is. The last makes Louis stop.

_we should go out. have dinner._

Louis rolls his eyes. _after all the crap w/ Mesh, are u really asking me out on a date rn_

Nick sends Louis a sad face emoji and Louis rolls his eyes again.

_i promise im a good date. buy you dinner, pull ya chair out, everything._

_ur just asking for trouble_

Nick sends Louis a big grinning face emoji, then _could do whatever you want afterwards. eat you out again. you could fuck me again. could fuck you if you wanted_

Louis tries to ignore the heat welling up in his belly. _im a cheap date, u could just meet me at mine and fuck me anyways._

Nick sends him a rolled eye emoji and then a sad face emoji. _please? ive never had to beg someone for a date before._

_then don’t start now. this is good, i don’t need more_

Louis feels like a dick, but he feels it needed to be said, so he doesn’t feel bad about it for long.

Nick doesn’t reply for the rest of the day, and then Louis sort of feels bad.

When he does reply, an hour after Louis’s gotten home from work, sitting out on the back deck with the pups having a beer and a smoke, it’s a snarky comment about how ginormous Louis’s arse is. And his ego.

_god can u be more annoying?_

_yep_

Louis rolls his eyes, taking the ball Clifford drops at his feet, throwing it into the garden for him. _are u coming over then or not?_

-*-*-

The first time Louis wakes up with Nick still in the bed next to him, he doesn’t realise at first. While he’s stretching his back out, sore from sleeping in an awkward position, his hand hits a warm, solid lump on the other side of the bed. He knows it can’t be anyone other than Nick (unless he got really, really drunk last night and picked some random guy up, which is literally entirely impossible), so he blinks one eye open (mostly for aim), and starts poking Nick in the fleshy part of his hip.

Nick’s eyelashes flutter and he turns on his side, now facing Louis, to get away from Louis’s poking finger, but that doesn’t stop him. He makes a face, smacking at Louis’s hand. “ _Stop_ , Louis.”

Louis doesn’t stop, but only because he loves annoying the fuck out of Nick.

Nick keeps smacking Louis’s hand away, trying to get him to stop, before giving up and rolling over again, this time onto Louis, digging his face into Louis’s ribs. “You’re so fucking annoying,” he mumbles, breath tickling Louis’s skin.

Louis fights a weirdly strong urge to run his fingers through Nick’s hair, just to feel it. “Fell asleep.”

“I noticed,” Nick replies, dragging his nose over Louis’s ribcage, tickling his skin. “Don’t mind.”

Louis lets Nick stay like that for a while, lying on top of him, because it’s sort of nice, in a weird way, the weight of his body comforting. “A’ight gerrof.”

Nick rolls over easily, without any argument, and onto his side, propping his head up with his hand, elbow in the sheets. He watches Louis get up and find a pair of briefs on the floor, pulling them on, and Louis tells him he’s being creepy.

Nick scrunches his face at Louis, then says, “Come over tonight? I’ll order pizza.”

Louis stops halfway through pulling his jeans, hunched over, staring at Nick through his fringe. He’s about to say something rude, but thinks better of it. “Half pepperoni, half yiros.”

A stupid grin slides onto Nick’s face, and now Louis regrets agreeing.

“I have to go,” Louis says, pulling a t-shirt that’s entirely too large to be his own over his head. “I’m having lunch with my siblings. I’ll text you later.”

Nick suddenly looks very interested, and Louis realises he’s never actually mentioned his siblings before. “How many you got? I’ve got two, Andy and Jane.”

Louis has to sit in the bed next to Nick to pull on his socks and shoes on. “Si- five.”

Nick frowns. “Six or five?”

Louis gives a pointed look over his shoulder as he’s lacing up his shoes. “Was six, now it’s five.”

Louis shoves his phone, wallet and keys into his pocket and leaves Nick in the bedroom, letting himself out of Nick’s flat.

-*-*-

_what happened?_

_did they die?_

_im sorry lou_

_please call me_

Louis reads the texts Nick’s sent him while he’s waiting for Lottie and the two sets of twins in a café outside of Regent’s Park. He’s concerned about Louis, but it does nothing but annoy Louis more. He’s found avoidance works best for him, and he’s not changing that for Nick.

The lunch goes alright, Ernest and Doris are a lot bigger than he saw them last, but that’s his fault. They still haven’t quite figured out where Félicite is, but they’re only five. He makes a mental note to see them more often, even if he lives so far away. They’re not going to be this little forever.

Louis gets the distinct impression that Lottie’s still blaming herself for Félicite’s death, and he can’t really persuade her out of it when he’s doing the same thing. He’d be a hypocrite. It was his job to keep an eye on her.

He makes plans to come up to Doncaster on the first weekend of November, then kisses them goodbye and watches them drive away.

His phone, with Nick’s texts, is burning a hole in his pocket.

When he checks again, Nick’s sent him more, and their content makes Louis suddenly very angry at Harry.

_i spoke to Harry, he told me about Félicite. im sorry. i lost my dad a few years ago, i know it’s hard._

_harry shouldnt have told u + u shouldnt have asked._

_lou im sorry. you had this look on your face when you left. it sort of freaked me out._

Louis fucking hates Nick. He wishes he’d stop getting so fucking involved. Louis can’t pretend if he does.

Louis sits, staring at the flashing line in the text box of his messages with Nick for a good five minutes before he gives up and locks his phone, starting up his car and driving home.

-*-*-

Louis sends Nick a message a few hours after that, cancelling, while he’s lying in bed feeling sorry for himself.

He also sends a harsh text to Harry about minding his own business, feels bad about it five minutes after he’s sent it, then decides he doesn’t care after another ten minutes.

He’s thinking about getting up and making himself a cuppa and having a smoke out on the porch when his doorbell rings. He knows it’s Nick before he even answers the door.

He rolls his eyes at Nick, but lets him in anyway. He’s got the beer and pizza he promised, and Louis tells himself that’s the only reason he’s letting Nick in.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” he tells Nick, taking the beer from him, opening the pack and pulling one out, leading him to the kitchen. “And your ego is the size of a cargo plane. How did you know I’d let you in?”

Nick shrugs his shoulders and leaves the pizza on the kitchen counter.

“I don’t want to talk,” Louis tells Nick. He opens up the pizza box (half pepperoni, half yiros inside), and pulls out a slice of yiros, taking a bite. “And if you ask, I’ll make you leave, and I’ll eat the pizza myself.”

The corners of Nick’s mouth turn up into a smile and he nods his assent. He takes his own slice of pizza.

It’s a bit awkward at first, both men unable to come with a topic of conversation, until Nick asks Louis about what he’s been reading for the publisher’s house. They mostly talk about work and anything else that isn’t friends and family, but nonetheless they do okay.

Louis’s crowing on about this movie he saw a few weeks ago he hates and loves in equal measure, and Nick’s just sort of staring at him weirdly – well, not weirdly. Louis stops mid-sentence and says, “Stop looking at me like that, you creeper. I’m talking, you’re supposed to be paying attention.”

Nick lets out a startled laugh, slapping his knee like Louis’s said something really funny. Louis’s funny, but not that funny.

“You’re being weird, stop being weird.”

“I’m not being weird,” Nick argues, though he’s still grinding like the Cheshire Cat. “Just realised how weird it is, how much I like you, especially considering you’re a lunatic.”

Louis feels heat bloom in his chest, and, to ignore it, he punches Nick in the shoulder, then loses his pizza on the coffee table so he can lunge at Nick and kiss him.

“Your mouth’s all greasy,” Nick says, laughing, after they’ve snogged for what feels like an hour, but what was realistically only five or ten minutes. Louis opens his mouth to make a cheeky comment, but Nick stops him by kissing him again.

They leave everything in the lounge room, migrating to Louis’s bedroom down the hall.

Nick fucks him on his stomach, whispering compliments and encouragement into Louis’s throat, sending shivers down his spine.

When it’s over and they’ve both come, they curl up together in the middle of the bed, with Louis on his side, tucked under Nick’s arm. It’s really nice, and Louis doesn’t really want to think about the little voice in the back of his head telling him he wants more of it.

Rather than think about the way Nick is making him feel, he says, “2016, a few weeks before Christmas, my mum passed away. Leukaemia. My sister, Félicite, she was taking medication, like anti depressants, she took too much, then she took cocaine.”

“Shit, Lou.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, I just thought I should explain.”

Nick tightens his arms around Louis, pulling him closer until he almost can’t breathe. Louis doesn’t mind though.

-*-*-

Louis finally agrees to a proper date during the first snowfall of the season. It’s freezing, and Louis’s gotten snow down the back of his neck, and all he wants to do is get back to his flat and hide under the covers.

No, he realises he wants to get back to _Nick’s_ flat, and hide out with him under the covers. He wants to pile up with Nick, and the billion dogs they have between each other and stay there until winter, and the pain that comes with December every year, goes away.

It occurs to him that he’s probably being a dick. He feels the same way Nick does, and he knows Nick can tell.

Laying all the cards out on the table, they’re completely monogamous, they spend most of the week going back and forth between each other’s places, they have dinner together, often, Nick basically knows everything about him, now, and Louis’s pretty sure it’s the same for Nick. They’re basically dating already. They just haven’t, like, got out to a restaurant or something for a date.

Louis just hasn’t admitted it to himself yet.

So, he gets out his phone and he texts Nick.

_so, this date uve been talking bout u better make it good._

He can imagine the look on Nick’s face when he sees the text, the stupid ear splitting grin, and it makes Louis’s chest feel tight.

 _maybe i dont want to go on a date anymore._ Nick replies, joking, evidenced by the wink and the laughing emojis he sends seconds after his text.

_shut up r u taking me out or not?_

There’s a wait before Nick’s next text, and Louis feels a bit like he’s stopped breathing while he waits.

_saturday night dress warm ill come pick you up._

-*-*-

Louis’s feeling admittedly unsure when Nick parks the car in the alley of the warehouse district. There are at least a dozen or so cars around, so at least If Nick has brought Louis out here to kill him, someone will hear him.

“This is where you come to dump a body. Wasn’t there a body dump out here a couple weeks ago?”

Nick chortles rather unattractively, and Louis decides it’s actually kind of cute. “Just know, if I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t leave you where I’d done it. Too much evidence.”

“Nice, thanks. I’ll remember that for later,” Louis says, rolling his eyes at Nick. Louis has no idea why he likes the bugger so much. He must be going insane. Maybe he’s got a parasite, they make you do weird things. (Then again, Louis’s only frame of reference for this is the movie Venom).

“I promise you’ll like it,” Nick says, then climbs out of the car.

Louis’s dubious.

He can hear the loud thump of music when he gets out of the car, too. He’s not sure where it’s coming from, though it almost feels like it’s coming from beneath him.

When Nick holds his hand out for Louis, Louis takes it without hesitation, threading his fingers through Nick’s.

It feels nice, right.

Louis squeezes Nick’s hand and follows him out of the mouth of the alley.

The warehouse looks like every other on the street, red brick and metal doors, and Louis frowns at it, still dubious, despite Nick’s reassurance. They approach a sliding door, and Nick takes his hand from Louis’s to yank it open with both of his hands. The small hallway the door opens into is louder than the outside, the thump of nightclub music shaking through Louis’s body, and dark, with a tiny light hanging from the middle of the roof. There’s a door in front of them, and a staircase that goes both up and down.

“C’mon,” Nick says, taking Louis by the hand and towards the stairs again. “Harry told me about this place. Ground floor’s a nightclub, first floor is a bar and the roof is the restaurant.”

Louis’s not really expecting what he sees when they reach the roof. It’s all lit up like Christmas, which surprises Louis, considering he should have been able to see it from the street, with flame heaters littered between tables. There’s a bar on one side of the roof, and a maître d’ counter a few feet from the staircase entrance.

It’s… it’s really romantic, and Louis’s not really sure how he feels about, or what that weird feeling in his tummy is.

“I’m not sure if I want to hit you or snog you.”

Nick snorts, mouth twisted up into a smile, and he drags Louis to the teenager standing behind the maître d’ counter.

They’re lead to a small lounge table near the bar, and their drink orders are taken before they’re left alone.

“Was I right? Do you like it?” Louis can hear the trepidation in Nick’s voice.

Louis just kisses him. He’s not really sure what he would say if he did speak. Maybe he’d blurt out something stupid like _‘I love you’_.

“Okay, good,” Nick says, nodding his head, letting out a breath. “I wasn’t sure.”

Louis’s not really expecting the Spanish heavy menu when he gets it, the restaurant itself seems more like posh English, but at least he knows he likes the food. They get tapas rather than meals, and wine cause it feels like a wine kind of night, and they sit there for hours, eating and talking.

Louis finds himself stuck between wishing it had gone bad, and so grateful it had gone so well.

-*-*-

“I have a question, but I don’t want you to be a dick about it, got it?” Louis warns Harry, waving his finger at him.

Louis’s least favourite Harry smile spreads across his face slowly, the one that tells Louis he’s definitely going to be a dick about what Louis has to say. Louis wants to say ‘ _never mind, forget about it_ ’ and move on, but he needs to say it, before he goes completely insane.

“I’ve never really, like, been in love, or whatever? At least I don’t think I have, so… but you have, yeah? So, just like… how do you know?”

Harry makes a really stupidly endeared face, and Louis really wants to hit him. “I read this article once that said the normal answers to that question – always wanting to be around them, craving them, thinking of them as your everything – was actually infatuation and not love. Infatuation is all encompassing, and true love is like… investing in them, feeling sorta comfortable just being with them. Am I making any sense?”

Louis shrugs. “Not really, but keep going.”

“You and Nick, you fight, yeah?”

“Well,” Louis screws up his face and hums. “Not really? Sometimes he makes me angry because he’s got a million annoying habits, but we don’t… we don’t fight? The other day – I swear to god, I’ve told him a million times – he was eating in my bed, yeah? And you know how much I hate getting crumbs in my bed, but he just-” Louis rubs his forehead with his fingers - he’s not doing very well. “When we first started… hooking up, or whatever, we used to do things just to annoy each, just cause it was like, foreplay or whatever-” (“Didn’t need to know that, thanks!”) “-but it’s not like that anymore. He took the food out of my bed when he realised, I didn’t even have to say anything.”

“Do you have your answer?” Harry asks, a wise look on his face – the idiot.

He’s right though. “He watched that new Zombieland movie with me, even though he hates zombie movies.”

“So he compromises. Do you?”

Louis frowns. “He likes cuddling, like a lot.”

“And you don’t, I know.”

“But I do? Sorta? Well, not really, but I hate it less with him. Being so close to him doesn’t make me as anxious as it does with others.” Louis realises the weird feeling welling up in his chest is exactly what he thinks it is. “I don’t mind going out all that much if I’m with him, y’know? I pick my shit up off the bedroom floor, cause I know he hates it.” Harry’s smile turns sappy, and Louis says, “Shut up. You’ve done your job.”

Harry’s grin widens.

-*-*-

Louis’s completely in love with Nick’s skin, in a totally, admittedly weird way. He loves the constellations of freckles over his shoulders and back, the tattoos, the scar across his hip, the one Nick told Louis he got as a kid, climbing over a fence. His skin’s weirdly soft, and Louis loves it.

Nick’s asleep, and Louis’s being a total creeper, staring at the plane of his back, the freckles and the knobs of his spine. He’s going through his conversation with Harry in his head, trying to wrap his mind around it, around being in love.

Being in love with Nick.

Louis notices Nick’s breathing change, watches as he stretches out his back and turns his head so Louis can see his face. His eyes are still closed, but Louis knows he’s awake.

Nick hums, eyelashes fluttering, but his eyes staying closed. “Time’s it?”

“Dunno. Late. Or early. Depends on how you look at it.”

“Why you ‘wake?” Nick asks, eyes still closed. Louis wants to trace the freckles on his cheeks.

Louis shrugs, despite knowing Nick can’t see it, and Nick cracks one eye open.

“C’mere,” he mumbles, before shutting his eyes again, rolling onto his side and opening his arm out for Louis to shuffle into. Nick kisses him a couple times, soft and sleepy, then burrows his head in Louis’s shoulder, laying half his body on Louis’s side. “Go back t’sleep.”

He lays there a while, thinking, until Nick speaks again.

“W’as wrong?”

“Nothing. Just too much going on in my brain to sleep,” Louis replies, gently poking at the marks on Nick’s shoulder, tracing each other together like a pattern. “You love me, yeah?”

Well that was the stupidest way to start the conversation. Louis wants to bash his head against a wall. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_.

Nick blinks his eyes open and stares at Louis for a moment, a little dumbfounded, then he shuts them again, mouth twitching at the corners like he’s trying not to smile. “Yeah, I love you.”

“Okay… okay, good,” Louis says, his heart feeling like it’s about to pound out of his chest. “Cause I love you too.”

“Good.” Nick mumbles into the kiss he places on Louis’s throat. “I’m glad.”

-*-*-


End file.
